sometimes, more often then not, i debate.

i debate choosing between what i want or what my parents or family members wish me to have. i am fortunate in many cases where i'm actually allowed to choose. career for example is one big thing in my life.

my dad and mum are fully supportive in what i want to do. they're willing to spend the money as long as it's investing in my education, yet, i know that perhaps they hope i'll choose another career line. well, i think it's mostly for my mother.

surprisingly, the unexpected people are the ones who really care and support your ways, your flaws, and your decisions.

take my dad for example. i seldom talk to him, almost never on certain days. yet, he almost clearly surprisingly knows everything about me. he seems to understand in his undersirable quiet ways about me. he cares and yet he doesn't push me.

an unexpected twist came suddenly when he told me about this friend of his has daughter working in the media line in a well-known production studio. my dad told his friend that his daugther is also intersted in this line. what was really surprising was that he actually knew and took me seriously in what i want to do. he didn't think it was a passing phase for he sounded pretty serious and the greatest thing about it? he is fully supportive of it.

my mum, is in contrast in this unexpected picture. sure, she supports me, but everytime in describing my details of my future, she seemed more keen everytime i propose the idea of going into a marketing line instead. she seems to think my obsession in making films is part of a passing phase, dumping me with articles. at times it seemed painfully enough that she's discouraging me of the idea in pursuing film. what is intersting is that i usually tell her most of the secrets of my daily life and journey in this heartfelt society, yet she doubts that i'm insecure on what i really want, but behold, this is really the passion i wish to pursue.

perhaps not as a major, a sideline as i continue to study in this ever-learning journey, but at the end of it, i wish by somehow this little dream i have at the back my head will drift foward and do what i wish to do most.

the little things in life which is so unexpected. the little things in life we never seem to see nor understand. and those little things in life which we bury beneath our hearts ignoring the little facts that face us everyday.

perhaps one day we'll see it. in more ways than one. then later we'll learn, to strive for something we receed in.

and when we come clean and clear of it. it seemed so strange, that it hits you like a wind. a favor of indeed the colours black and white.